WHEN YOUR BEST IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH

Lately, I have been inundated with so much that I have been trying my best  to stay afloat.  In this experience I found myself pushing to the background a lot of things that I needed to do because I was busy ‘trying my best’.

There is a ton of writing to do, rather than do it I have been ‘trying my best.’  Anytime someone asks me why I have not gotten any of the stuff done, I just give them the line that’ I am trying my best.  Recently, it dawned on me that trying my best is what I say, when I am avoiding to do what is required of me.  In order not to feel bad or indisciplined, I simply say I am doing my best.

 

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 Well, it doesn’t matter how much of’ my best’ I do; if it doesn’t meet the requirement, then my best just isn’t good enough then.

In living a dream, most of the stuff we will have to do on a daily basis are those things we will rather not do.  I don’t feel like doing any writing today for instance, but it is required of me.  After all, I am in the business of publishing and writing.  I really do not feel like reading today either, nor do I feel like prepping for the next training… but you know what?  All these are required of me if I will be a success.

If our personal best is good enough then there will be no need for standards whatsoever, but because we are human, sometimes, our best will not be good enough; at such times we must discipline ourselves to do what is required instead.

Here are a few tips that may help you focus on doing what is required for this week.

1.       BE INTENTIONAL:  Like I said, living a dream cannot only be dependent on what it is that we feel and ‘doing our best’.  This is why intentionality is a gift we should give ourselves. Once you recognise that your best does not help actualise the fulfilment of the goal; it is time to be intentional.  For instance, how am I going to tackle my writing lull? Tomorrow morning when I come in, I will do nothing else.  I will take receive no visitors and I will not read my emails.  I will sit at my desk and concentrate on writing for the first half of the day.

2.      TACKLE THE HARD STUFF FIRST – Once you are determined and intentional, it means you have cleared your desk and are concentrating on the task at hand.  The next step will be to list all that you are required to do.  Then prioritise and tackle them from the hardest to the less difficult ones.  In my case, I find that manuals are a lot harder to develop and write than manuscripts on life experiences.  So once I settle in, I will stick with the manuals first.  Hopefully, I will be able to deal with a few before I move on to the less difficult writings.

3.      UTILISE YOUR MOST PRODUCTIVE TIME – Everyone has a most productive time of day.  I find that mine is between 3.00 am and 10.00 am.  And because there are a lot of things required of me that I am behind on, I will be scheduling some writing time within these hours.  That means when I get up at 3.00 am, I will be dealing with the hardest tasks before I move to the easier ones.  Rather than use this time to read as I have done lately, I will commit to using it to do some serious writing.

4.      ELIMINATE TIME WASTERS; DELEGATE – Even though I said that there are stuff that are required of us that we must tackle, if we know how to delegate, some of these can be delegated to kick start the process.  For instance concerning the training manuals I mentioned, I can develop the scope of the material and assign someone else to collate and have me vet at the end of the exercise.  This way, I am free to deal with other required stuff.

5.      THINK BIG PICTURE – Finally, always think big picture.  What this means is you take time out to think about how accomplishing this required part of the work will impact positively upon that which you want to achieve.  Remember what success will look like when it is all done and maybe even picture what it will be like should you not be able to get it all done.  My thinking is that realising how not doing the required stuff can adversely affect our end result, is enough motivation to knuckle down and get it done.

The truth is that we will sometimes get in that place where our passion wanes and we are not exactly jumping over the moon to get our dreams moving.  However, while we feel that way, we still have to keep moving until we get to the goal.

My prayer is that you will make it NeverTheLess.  Because of your goal, remember that making it might mean doing not just what you feel like but even those you don’t feel like but are required of you.

Here is to your success!

Bidemi

HOW TO SUSTAIN YOUR WIN AND KEEP WINNING

Welcome! On today’s post, I want us to look at how to Sustain A Win and keep winning.  Most of us have been blessed with success at different points, and while some of us have been able to sustain the win and continue to use them to spin off more success, some of us have lost the momentum that success brought with it and are back on the grind trying to make another success happen?
Question then is; how does one sustain a win, while continuing to win?  Here are a few points you may find useful:

1.  REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM – These days where everyone is an expert at something even though most are just arm chair pundits; always knowing what is wrong never knowing how to fix it.  It is extremely important that we don’t forget where it is that we have come. Remember when your dream was just an idea; never forget when nobody could see what you saw.  Do you remember the days when you had to answer the phone by yourself, manufacture the product alone, market it and keep your books all by yourself?  Do you remember why you always went back even when others thought you should give up?  Well, all these came together to give the win you celebrate today.  To sustain it therefore, it will be great if you always remembered that there was a day when you were small with no win in sight.
2. DON’T FORGET THOSE WHO BET ON YOU  – Every business or dream when properly executed becomes big and successful.  However, most times, they also evolve and find it cumbersome to do business with some types of clients and customers.  Unfortunately, these were the clients who even though weren’t quite sure how far the business will go put themselves out for you anyway.  Growing and succeeding to the point when they become ‘those people’ you don’t what to deal with anymore, is extremely risky.  Because success attracts, the tendency is much bigger and established clients will come knocking… to be able to keep sustaining the wins however, we must give priority to those who went out on the limb for us when no one else would.
3. KEEP LEARNING TO KEEP IMPROVING – Yes you are now a win and for some a point of reference, but it is wise to recognise that you still have a lot to learn.  One success or ten do not negate the fact that life is a forever learning school.  So despite the wins you have today, ask yourself; ‘what else do I need to learn and from whom’?  This is the only way to keep growing.  Remember it is said that the day one stops growing, that day he begins to die.
4. BE CONTENT YET NOT SATISFIED – The very religious usually will quote that ‘godliness with contentment is great gain’.  They use this scripture as the excuse not to want to grow beyond where they are; instead they keep revelling in out dated and expired wins.  There is always new territory to conquer so if you want to sustain the win you have today and keep the winning streak, one thing you must do is to recognise that even though you are content with that which you have, it is okay to aim for more and want to be more.  One win is not enough to rest on our oars especially where there is room and opportunity for other wins and successes.
5. KEEP UP WITH THE TRENDS BUT AVOID COMPLICATIONS – Change we are told is the only constant thing and even with our dreams and businesses, change is a constant.  The processes we started out with are bound to change over time… which means that what gave you this win may have not be able to give you the next one.  Change that does not compromise the quality of your product or service is something you should want to embrace if you want to be able to sustain your win and keep winning.
6. NEVER FORGET WHY YOU STARTED – I didn’t start my business because I wanted to make money, I started because I wanted to make impact.  It was while making impact that I realised that one cannot make impact and not profit therein.  So when things become challenging as they can be sometimes I am quick to remember that the reason why I embarked on the journey wasn’t money alone.  It is the same for you… to be able to sustain your win, never forget why you started.  Even if circumstances pushed you to start there must have been something you hoped to see in the end.  So as challenges come if you don’t forget why you started you should be able to keep standing.
7. NEVER, NEVER ARRIVE – I know a business that used to be the pride of all – those who ran it, those who worked there and those of us who were just customers.  We wore our badge with pride, we were too glad that we did business with this entity… professional bodies even attested to the fact that they were winning.  But then they arrived!  And when they arrived, they became sloppy, they became rude and they became ineffective… and slowly but surely we are no longer proud to wear the badge, we are quietly looking for others who we will be proud of.  In walking/working your dream, arriving is a bad thing… because arriving makes you do things you said you wouldn’t do when you started.  So my take? Never arrive if you will sustain your win and keep winning.

Till next week, I hope this is enough food for thought.

Here is to your success!

Bidemi

KK, FIFTEEN YEARS LATER; LESSONS LEARNT

Welcome!  Sorry this week’s post is coming late, I had a major challenge deciding what to post.  Eventually, I decided to wait and use the opportunity of my older son’s birthday to post a few lessons, I have learnt being the mother of a gentleman in every sense.

Fifteen years ago, Kenechi came into our lives exactly the way we had prayed to God that he will come.  When I got pregnant, we (Mark and myself) started to pray every single day as he developed in the womb.  We prayed specific prayers that aligned with his formation stage in the womb and we asked God for a lot of things and God answered every single one of those prayers.  

Today as he turns fifteen, I take a look at the journey of being his parents and I cannot but say that he has brought us only joy…  today I am thanking God for my firstborn son; Kenechukwu Chinonso David Mordi.  Beautiful inside and outside… so calm sometimes I wonder?  Friend to his siblings, extremely compassionate heart.  I thank God for KK, the public speaker extraordinaire, for the many ways he has accepted us and never hassled us even for the things he wanted and we couldn’t afford or wouldn’t give.

I thank God for the special mind and the ability to retain information that he has given to my first born son.  Today, I don’t see how I deserve to be his mother but I am honoured to be.  

So what lessons can I share from being KK’s mother for fifteen years?

1.       As we prayed and committed his formation and growth and still do today, if you will commit your dreams and aspirations to God, you will be amazed how far you will go.  We are fifteen years today and still counting, that can be your story too.  Prayer waters the ground for our seeds of work to yield a harvest.

2.      Like I mentioned we prayed specifically concerning what we wanted to see in his features and temperament and he is exactly as we prayed.  Concerning your dream, if you will take time to keep deliberately speaking and praying, you will get what you pray for.  We prayed when his nails were forming and when his hair was growing, we prayed about every single part of him forming.  You cannot birth your dream without watering it with prayer.

3.      As his parents we did everything within our capacity to give him a conducive environment to thrive, we told him we loved him when it was needful, we disciplined him when it was required, and we constantly spoke positively about him and his future.  If your dream will make it, you will also be required to give it what is required at every point.

4.      By the time KK was old enough we sent him off to school, where we entered into collaborative efforts with his teachers and school authorities to continue to shape him.  However, we didn’t hand him over and never went back to inspect how he was doing, we kept watch.  When we noticed that he wasn’t thriving, we took him elsewhere.  Your dream is no different, you will have to enlist the help of others along the way, and you will need to keep inspecting what they are doing.  And should you notice your team members are giving the wrong vibes… step in and be the parent.

5.      Finally, we recognise that even though KK is our son, he belongs to God and ultimately to the world to make a difference.  So we tell him; we encourage him to begin to look beyond his needs alone and know that others are depending on him.  We tell him that he is on earth for a PURPOSE and one he must rise to in due season.  Your dream may be birth by you; it has eternal potential to impact lives and generations even after you.  It is your responsibility to position it in a way that it fulfills that specific destiny it carries.  So make sure you know what your dream achieves put alongside eternity.

So, there you have it.  Some of the lessons I learnt from being the mother of a fifteen year old.  I know your dream may differ, but as long as you recognise its importance, and give it ‘your’ best possible, you will make it NeverTheLess.  

Please join me in praying for KK that he will make it NeverTheless.  Happy Birthday son, you are so loved.

Here is to your success

Sistar B

My Book, Super Eagles and PUSH

Great week ahead, I dare say! Congratulations to our own dear Super Eagles; re: last week’s post, I did say that the man who has something to prove finds a way to win.  What other way to prove that life principle than having a home based player score the winning goal?  Lesson:  Never underestimate the power of the ‘underdog’.

I have another piece of news and this is both personal to me and a great blessing (even if I say so myself) to everyone who will have the opportunity of laying their hands on this special resource!

My first book ever is now out of Press!  It is titled SISTA POWER and it is about collaborations.  If you ever want to discover how to join forces with others to bring about a collective fulfillment of destiny this book is a must read for you. To order a copy please call 08029056642 or email bidemi@effectualmag.com

Upon the release of Sista Power last week, at least three people did say to me that they were impressed with the discipline with which I take on a project and finish it, and wondered how they can do that too.

At the risk of trivialising their compliments and their concern about themselves, I have this to say; like every one of them, I cannot say I am that focused and disciplined.   Even the best of us can become afraid, discouraged, unsure and much more.  I am no different. 

So what is the solution?  Well, what I can attest to is that I commit and keep doing what it is that I need to get done.  Here are some tips that may help you move your dream along too.

1.       ENVISION THE FINISH LINE:  Just like most members of the Super Eagles may have dreamt of holding the AFCON Cup in their hands leading to the final game, you too must envision the euphoria, fulfillment and sense of accomplishment that finishing will give you.  Smell the environment, hear the compliments and feel the sensation of finishing.  Let that picture be part of your driving force.  I mean, know what finishing can make you feel like.

2.      THINK ON PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS:  Some times when, I am struggling with a current task, I think on the other times in the past when I had felt like I couldn’t do it or go on anymore, yet was able to finish the execution in the end.  Think on how when you eventually finished the task, remember how it felt like and think about the value your finishing added to you and others, and get up and keep going.  I was not in the room when Coach Keshi gave his pep talk to the players, but I am sure he told them that in 1994, it was done, and can be done again.

3.      THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD GO WRONG SHOULD YOU NOT FINISH: This seems like a fear factor, but I mean if the adrenaline that surges through your veins when you think of the worst case scenario of when you don’t finish energises you to go on; it becomes a good thing.  For my book, I kept thinking about how others may never really get to understand what power lies in collaborations and how they can take advantage of it.  I kept thinking about the fact that being a Christian, I will die one day and return to God; how will I face Him to say I didn’t complete the assignment He gave me?  I am sure the Super Eagles knew their reception back home will be warmer and more exciting with a win than with a loss. 

4.      REMEMBER PURPOSE:  As long as you understand that everything you do on earth if you are deliberate is tied to God’s PURPOSE for you.  Then even the task at hand becomes in your sight even more important than you may have thought.  For me writing the book, wasn’t just the next thing to do, I was sure it was part of God’s plan for my NOW, so I had to keep at it.  The Super Eagles could have given up in the initial round of the tournament especially since no one believed in them anyway, but they must have thought, that it was part of God’s plan for their lives for the now!

     Friends, life can be a drag, living on purpose can be hard and laborious, but never forget that it was for such a time as this that you were created.  So just get up and keep going; you will make it NeverTheLess… ask the Super Eagles, success is sweet.

Here is to your success!

Bidemi