Monday, February 27, 2012


Click for the Audio Blog

Hello World, welcome to your get better page.  How are things going in dreamland?  Have you moved your stuff out of Familiar land yet?  If yes how is that going?  If no, what is keeping you?

I assume you were on this page last week, and that you noticed that I am keeping my word. I did leave Familiar land; I posted an audio version of the blog, well, I am committed to the process, so you will find the link for today's audio here too.  Please do post your feedback, it will be appreciated, help me get better!

Now to today's post, after I posted "Leaving Familiar land” someone sent me a mail stating that he recognises that he ought to leave familiar land but is not quite sure what route will take him to dream land; that is what has informed this post.

The Law of Exposure basically says that what we expose ourselves to can significantly shape how we think, feel and act.  Exposure is the key to becoming exceptional, and living a dream is a journey into the exceptional life.

Living a dream moves you from the ordinary life. Now, to be candid, an ordinary life is easy, has no opposition and is smooth sailing most of the way. However, nobody remembers ordinary people, or talk about them.  When you step up and out to pursue your dream, you have bought a ticket out of the ordinary life, into the exceptional one. 
However, this trip also isolates you, which is why you need to begin to consider taking on the principle proffered in the Law of Exposure.  Applying the Law of Exposure means proactively taking deliberate action daily. It is a step by step intentional decision making exercise.  You need to begin to deliberately choose what you will expose your mind to, If what you expose yourself to is not a reflection of what you want to be right now, then there is a need to begin to reconsider what you are feeding your mind and begin to change it to suit your destination.

When I met my Coach, Anna McCoy, one of the first things she said to me was "do not limit others by your limitations." This for me was great exposure, because it started me thinking about how to get my dream to bless others beyond my immediate reach, and purview.  To be able to do this, I had to think about what options I had to be able to reach them, and when I couldn't find a way by myself, I realised that I needed to expose myself to people who have gone ahead in the journey and who can show me how to arrive at my destination quicker than I could find the way on my own.

The point of today's post is to point out that:

1. Living a dream positions you in the 20% of exceptional people

2.  Being in the 20% isolates you because you are no longer ordinary.

3.  As someone living an exceptional life, you need to intentionally choose what you will expose your mind to.

4.  Choose people who have gone ahead in the journey to destiny land, and ask them to expose you to the options that are available to you.

5.  Honestly, if you will go far in pursuit of your dream, you need a Coach who will ask you the right questions in order to pull you up into destiny.

The dynamics of the law of exposure is simple, if you ask me. It just means that you begin to pick your associations carefully, and you need to begin to recognise that some of the knowledge you require, others already have acquired, so your job is to find them and let them expose your mind to the options that you may have.

My journey is not at its peak yet, but at least I lived my dream another day by posting this... I am committed to keep getting better and I am smart enough not to want to reinvent an effective wheel when I see one.  Instead I tap into the wisdom that is already available.

You should try it too, and I am convinced you will make it NeverTheLess.  Welcome to an exceptional life.  Feel free to send an email to and I will be glad to expose you to what I have been exposed to.

Together, we will make it; NeverTheLess.


Sistar B

Sunday, February 19, 2012


Last week I received a recording from my Coach Anna McCoy on something she tagged Vision Exam. It was a call for us to reexamine how we are working and walking our Vision to ascertain that we are on track.  Her guest on the show, my Woman Act Now sister, Dr. Pam Ross, a leadership expert, talked on something called Hesitant Walk where she told us to take time to look at what we had set out to do and ask ourselves why we had hesitated.  She went on to say that if we went through the exercise, we will find that one reason why we have not walked as powerfully as we ought to, is because we have gotten comfortable in what I call Familiar Land.  This is the land where you have operated successfully for a while and have gotten so used to the way things are done that you have made a bed there.

I realized immediately that I have been dwelling in familiar land, I had received a few new mandates on how to move my dream further, but I have been too comfortable in Familiar land that I have not taken the plunge.  I felt really bad, but now that I see my folly, here is announcing that I am moving out of Familiar Land.  Please pray for me, ask that grace will be available to me, ask that I will have the right support that I require and ask that I will overcome my greatest fear; The Fear of Rejection!

So even on this page things are going to change pretty soon, what this means is if nothing changes in the next fortnight then please send me a mail on  I am submitting myself to you; you can hold me accountable to this commitment to leave familiar land.  In a few short weeks, I will also be announcing a few other ways you can follow our work apart from this blog and the magazine, again hold me accountable.

Now as we walk and work our dream life, once in a while you will find that you have made your bed in familiar land; you are not alone. However, please find a way to relocate.  Here are a few tips that should help you get out.

First, you must be discerning enough to recognize when you have plateaued.  My Coach's message woke me up, and I quickly started a self audit. Maybe this post will encourage you to do an audit to find out why you have become that way too.

Secondly, immediately ask for help. The moment I realized what had happened I sent a mail both to my Coach and my Sister and co- traveller.  Both of them responded in very meaningful ways and by the end of the day, I had a clearer plan of how to proceed.  They are also going to keep checking until I move all my stuff out of familiar land.  You should too!  Again feel free to write in here and I will be glad to help midwife the new birth even as these ladies help midwife mine.

Thirdly, take the first baby step in getting out of familiar land. It doesn't matter how simple or inconsequential the step may seem, it will be your first sign to yourself that you are both ready and willing to do this.  This means taking your focus away from the end and just doing the very next thing that comes easy to you. Make the telephone call, write the first line or paragraph, just do something.

People, I have no idea how this new journey will unfold. I am sure of many highs, a few lows in between and a lot of curves along the way, but isn't that why it is a journey?  I will step into these unknown waters, afraid, yet confident that the tide will take me to destiny.  You should step out too, irrespective of what your fears and inadequacies may be.

Finally, I decided to put this out here because I want to be able to commit to moving out of familiar land with all that I have, and knowing you are waiting to witness my progress is enough motivation to keep going. Put yourself out too, it helps.  This means I will need to have a healthy disregard for the impossible, and you should too.

After all is said and done, remember this is a divinely ordained destination and He that has ordained will ensure you get there.  We will make it NeverTheLess, I promise, we will.

Please find the link for the conversation that triggered all this here.


Sistar B

Monday, February 13, 2012


We all woke up to the news of the death of singer and music diva Whitney Houston.  It also coincided with my teaching that morning in Church on the Law of Empowerment from John C. Maxwell's 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

I could not help thinking that we never really heard of Whitney's many problems until she got married to Bobby Brown and to my mind became isolated from her family and support system.  The more I thought that she was actually dead, the more I could point how many ways not to pursue our dreams, and I will want us to examine some of them together.

In one of my posts many months ago, I asked the question; "Who is on Your Team? And I was very emphatic about the kinds of people we allow to exert influence over us in any regard, especially when we are living our dreams.

First question we must answer is the purpose question:  Just what really was Whitney's gift meant for?  How and where was she supposed to exercise her gift?  Every gift that we are endowed with or given is for us to become a blessing and Whitney's gift obviously blessed many.  However, there is also the issue of how we should conduct ourselves while exercising our gifts and living the dream.

You cannot achieve much alone, because others are put in our circle for reasons great and small.  Whitney's family was a great one to have come out of, but I remember watching the interview she did with Oprah and she narrated how Bobby cut her off from everyone who could exercise some influence over her in those dark days and I couldn't help thinking, so who else was on her team at this point?  You cannot allow others decide who should be on your own team.  You alone know what you need.

However, it is extremely easy for us to look at the Bobby factor, especially in this emotional time, and forget that people make it on our team because we give them permission.  How much influence a man will exert over us, will be determined by how much room we give them.  The law of empowerment says secure leaders give power away, and maybe Whitney gave Bobby Brown and drugs too much power, but that may be because she didn't, deliberately enough, pick those in her inner circle, as the law of the inner circle says a leader's potential is determined by those closest to him.

Who told Whitney her support system in family and faith were no longer required? How did she go from an A-gamer to a person with such great struggle with drugs and all the domestic abuse?

As we live our dreams if we make the required sacrifices success will come to us, and maybe fame will come to us, but those who remain on our teams at this point will determine how we will manage the success and fame.  We need to remember that we don't go to sleep forgetting all the principles that helped us grow, because we have become successful.

If you are growing a business, remember the clients who took a chance on you even when no one will give you the time of day!  They know you, the real you, and they can tell you when you are going off course.  Their business may not be anything compared to your newer clients, but you keep them because they stuck with you when you needed someone to.

Another thing that comes to mind is the power of self control and self discipline.  Incidentally, my Pastor taught on Conquering Ourselves, this Sunday and I cannot help but think how does something produced by another man like drugs, take over the mind of a man?  While I am not disputing that drugs can be powerful, I also think if we can control ourselves and conquer our urges, cravings and desires then we can resist the power of drugs and the like.  Because in my book even though substance is powerful, it still is inanimate! I can think, substance cannot!  What is your own drug of choice? Food? Shopping? Anger? Pride? 

In living your dreams, please stop today, and consider again: who is on your team? Whose counsel do you listen to? How did you pick our team members? How much self control do you possess? Who have you kept on the team whose job is to tell you the truth?

Whitney's passing at 48 is a tragedy indeed, but we can stop and learn from her life the how to and how not to live our own dreams.


You will make it NeverTheLess.


Sistar B

Monday, February 6, 2012


I tossed through the night because I have the 'itch.' I am beginning to feel like time is running out and we should have done more than we have done right now. And when I have the itch, I feel like we should zap through the phases to arrive at our destination.

However, I found out early in my walk with God that there is no stampeding Him, and there are absolutely no short cuts when it comes to walking and working alongside Him to birth and nurture a dream, no matter how lofty.

That realization did not however, stop me from trying to hurry things up or to move faster than had been ordained for me.  Sometimes I forget who the real boss is, other times I remember who the boss is, I am just not in the mood to play nice, so I do my best to cut in line and see if it is possible that He will let me through, even if He will come back with the consequence later.

Much as I tried, it seemed like I was the only one in the universe he was watching at the point, so I somehow always got caught by Him.  With time I came to the conclusion that I was either too important that He won’t let me be or that the dream was so important that a mess up was not an option.  It turns out I was right on both points, so I 'humbled up,' and decided there was no winning with the big guy.

What this all meant was that I had to travel real slowly, by my estimation sometimes.  The amazing thing is, I still made it to my destination on time according to the divine agenda, and I was never late! Over time I started to learn to surrender and go with the flow.  Still slow if you asked my opinion, although I recognise my opinion really didn't matter!

With the surrender, I began to see that there was more to the journey than the destination.  There was so much to learn on the trip itself that a zap through will not allow.  The experiences; good, bad and ugly in these years all come together to make for the strength with which I step out every day, still uncertain what I will come across in the course of the day but extremely confident that my boss will take me through it all.

This post has become expedient because I can already feel the pressure to surpass what we achieved last year, I want to do more, and because of that I can sense the itch to zap off as usual.  But then I have learnt my lesson, so I quickly look for inspiration to hold on till my boss releases me.

If there is a dream in your heart or you are living one already, it can take a while, but if you want to get it right, understanding that the process is just as important, if not more important than the journey, will help a great deal.  I make less and less mistakes these days because I now know that surrendering is a gift I give my boss, to receive fulfillment.

The microwave is a great machine, but when you throw in food without allowing it to thaw first, the taste is the first thing you lose!  Your dream is designed for eternity, walking the path of process is an important piece of getting it right, and so we cannot afford to lose the taste just so we can have our food fast.

Others may have been moving really fast, but do you have the same assignment or pace? Since when did your dream become a competition anyway?  As I write this, I have in front of me the first ever edition of Effectual Magazine, and I am grateful for the journey even more than the destination.

If we could get this far, despite my constant itch to move faster, if you will surrender too, you will make it NeverTheLess.

Take time out and view the scenery, you may never travel this way again, and if you don't know what it looks like, how can you say you travelled this way?  The beautiful thing is no matter how long it takes, when you surrender, you will not be late NeverTheLess.

Wait, I see a scenery I must take in... See you on the other side of dream land, you will make it Nevertheless.


Sistar B