Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Refined by Trouble?

Welcome!  It has been extremely hard coming to this page lately; first I went on a very short vacation and then came down with the flu.  So sorry I couldn’t post anything last week, and this week is coming late.  Life happened and I had to go with the flow.

Even today, someone has asked me how they will know what it is that they are here for.  And it seems I am running out of answers because it seems so easy to find what you are on earth for some, while for others it seems to be the hardest thing that there is to resolve.

Anyhow, one thing that is common to everyone who has asked me recently how they can find out their purpose is TROUBLE! Yes, I mean trouble.  Difficulties, challenges, etc.  A lot of us when everything is well do not bother to stop and think about the possibility that even though we are doing something, it may not be what we really should be doing.  Somehow, it seems that it is in the day when trouble hits that we suddenly receive the revelation that we just might have been living outside our ordained purposes.  Hmmm!

I therefore concede that trouble does seem to have its advantages then.  Rick Warren, in his book The Purpose Driven Life, actually said “every problem is a character building opportunity.”  Not only have I seen that trouble has the capacity to refine us character-wise, I also see that it helps us look beyond our present and begin to find ways to live meaningful lives.

So as we begin to round off 2012 gradually, what are you thinking about 2013?  What are your plans, have you started reviewing 2012? 
Maybe the first question you will want to ask is; what has been your greatest setback? What hasn’t worked at all?

Setbacks spell trouble so let’s take time and review ours, take a sheet of paper and write it out. Why did it happen? What needs to change? Who may you need to be more around? Is it something you can do without in the New Year? If not, is it possible that you can refine it?

I guess what I am trying to put out on today’s post is that the year is winding down and a lot might have happened in your favour and a few things the other way round.  For those already living their dreams, what trouble did you see this year that can help you build better business character next year?  It will be fool hardy to wait until the 2013 before we begin to move.

Look at it again; that it is trouble doesn’t mean it has no use. Find out its significance and explore it in the interest of your dream.

Till next week, remember, every trouble is a character building opportunity, and in spite of it, as long as you hold on long enough, you will make it! Yes, you will! 


Sistar B

Monday, October 15, 2012


“Every God given vision will become real if we will only have patience”
 Oswald Chambers.

Welcome. I believe that everyone has a dream, everyone qualifies to live their dream, and every dream has the capacity to make impact.  Today I want to appreciate my off line respondents, all my sistas in the US, thanks for following. You are loved and appreciated.

 Last week I heard the story of a man destined for greatness, but jumped process, and took shortcuts.  Lance Armstrong was looked upon by most as a great man not just by biking enthusiasts but by most dreamers.  He had the most important ingredient to succeed in his chosen field (PASSION) and he did seem to be succeeding for a while, until revelations in the past month started to poke holes in his credibility as an athlete.

Having a conversation on how this man has dropped in his rating with my husband; he said to me, “You know I have completely lost faith in bikers as athletes with integrity.”  Wow!  That hit me! Because my husband is a man who has faith in most people!  Then I became sad because this is how Process died!  So today, we mourn the death of PROCESS.

 Why does anyone think that they can cut corners and make it?  Why is it that we think that success obtained without integrity will last? So many questions!  More importantly, what are we telling our children about competition?

If you are a dream chaser, people will tell you how to get there the easy way; they will suggest to you what to do so you will be working ‘smart.’ What they may not tell you is that smart is not necessarily wise!  Old principles like integrity may be old but they are tested and proven to be the only way.  

So how do we work our dream so we don’t lose all we have worked for? How do we ensure that our passions are legitimately worked to bring the desired result without causing us pain and shame in the end?  Let’s look at a few pointers:

1.       INVEST: Anything you give up to go up is an investment in the future.  When we don’t put in the required hard work but will rather cut corners like undergoing blood transfusions before a major contest, we are eating our seed rather than sowing it.  Because the right thing to do in this instance is put in the time and work required.  Whatever is achieved from hard work tends to endure longer than others.  Plus in the process of training, we learn life lessons that enable us to win the game over and over again, in the future.  Rather than take a short cut, invest the time to travel the route so you can learn the terrain and own it!

2.      WEIGH YOUR OPTIONS: All things are lawful but not all things are expedient is a biblical saying that I believe in.  That something works for your competition doesn’t mean it will work for you.  Weigh your options, what works within your peculiar circumstances? What price are you willing to pay? Are a few months or years of seeming success enough to destroy your name for life? How do you want to be remembered in the final analysis?

3.      WHO HOLDS YOU ACCOUNTABLE? ‘Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are’ is also a popular saying that some of us have stopped taking seriously.  Every dream chaser requires an accountability partner.  Who is it that holds you accountable? What principles guide their lives?  Really who is the one you go to for counsel?  I find that people may not know the details of running my business but they have life values that I admire so I submit to them.  They help shine the light when I begin to move into those gray areas that can ultimately become dark and keep me accountable. If in chasing your dream you will not ‘kill’ process, then you need to submit yourself to accountability.  

4.      WHAT WILL YOUR FINAL HOURS LOOK LIKE?  You have now had the opportunity to live long chasing this dream and you have been blessed to have done great things with it. It is time to go home and stand before your maker and it is time for others to put a sentence on your tomb, what is it you can see them say about you?  What is it you will be proud to stand before your maker and say concerning how you have run?  It is only a fool who lives like he will have no end because surely the end will come, and at that place there is no chance to go back and right the wrongs… wise people decide from the get go not to make those costly intentional mistakes.

In the end, your dream will also stand to be judged, that is when you will realise that it is not how far you have ran but how well that matters.  It is given to us all to run and finish well but the choices we make will decide what happens.  

My prayer now and always for you is that you will make it NeverTheLess… you will.

Sistar B

Monday, October 8, 2012

The Road Less Travelled
It is a great day to be alive.   Welcome to NeverTheLess, and thanks so much to all of you who take time to drop a word to show you were here.  You are loved and appreciated.

My bags are packed and I am ready to embark on a trip I had taken all of one month to plan for.  The day has finally come, and I am moving one step closer to the destiny I have always wanted but honestly, making this trip alone sucks!  As long as the trip was still in the future, I was fine, but the moment it became a present possibility I started to look for reasons why I may not be able to make the trip.  It had nothing to do with the fact that the event I was going to speak at was no longer important or relevant to my dream, but it was mainly because I am afraid of traveling alone.

Have you ever felt that chasing after and living your dream will be more fun if you had someone working alongside you?  I feel like that so many times.  So as I sat on the edge of my bed wondering who should have been going on this trip with me, it suddenly dawned on me that so many of these trips I will have to go alone! 
So I picked up my bags, hopped in the car and headed to the airport. Every now and then the thought will occur to me one more time, you are traveling alone!  And each of those times, I brace myself and say, it is the reality of living a dream, sometimes you must go alone.

Here are some questions you should ask yourself when living the dream becomes lonely:

1.       WHO – Who are you called to? Who were you called with?  Once you are sure whom you are called to and the impact you can make, it makes facing the journey alone a bit less scary.

2.      WHAT – The 'What' question is pretty easy. It is the question that provides you with a plan.  What are you called to deliver through your dream? How important is the ‘what’ of your dream to the lives you are called to serve?  Who else do you know who will be able to provide the ‘what’ as you can? Again, it enhances the importance of facing this trip, even though alone.

3.      WHEN – The next question you should answer to convince yourself to get on the dream bus is the ‘When’ question.  This is simply about the lifespan of your dream and your call.  Do you think the opportunities and the people will always be there? Do you think the need will always be there?  The answer to the When question is usually, NOW. So again, if you have to live this dream NOW, then shouldn’t you get on the bus?

4.      WHERE – It is imperative that you know where you are called to express your dream. I mean if you are called to your immediate family alone, then maybe you are exempt from getting on the dream bus alone, but if not, then travel you must, and sometimes alone is how you must travel.

5.      WHY – This is our last question for now.  Why you? Why this dream? Why the audience? Why?  I know for instance that I am the one called to do what I do, because I have been endowed with the potential to do so. I have the experience to tell the story, and my audience is probably me a few short years back.  In other words, your why, qualifies you and puts in perspective for you why getting on the bus is expedient.  Maybe because except you do it, no one else might be able to do it the way you do it.  There is also the fact that it is the passion that has consumed you.

Now back to my trip, I have been on that trip and many more alone. Each time even though getting out of the house is scary, once out there, I cannot but be grateful to God for the opportunity.  

What steps do you have to take today alone, in order to enhance your dream life?  Remember that dream chasers travel the road less travelled.  Get on that bus. One thing is sure; you will make your destination NeverTheLess.  I promise you will!


Sistar B