Friday, December 10, 2010


A longing that will just not go away


The last time I posted, I encouraged us all to ensure we have a Vision for what our 2011 will be like. I mentioned knowing what purpose our vision will serve, amongst other things.

Today I want us to look at Desire together. What is Desire? 

Without using the dictionary I will want to say that Desire is a deep longing for something that will just not go away.  What this means is that Desire is that thing you carry on your inside that will not stop keeping you awake no matter your circumstance.

It has become important to talk about Desire in our quest for a better year in 2011 because I have had the opportunity to speak and coach people who have no clue what the Vision for their lives is.

If you take time out to think, you will most likely find out that there has been a particular desire in your heart over time that has remained with you.  Once this desire has been identified, whether it is an urge to build homes for people or to take care of the aged, or even just to have your family live and relate in a particular way, it can be a pointer to what you are called to do.

The next thing for me will be to ask myself what values or beliefs I have that will form the basis for this desire. Maybe the urge in your spirit is to feed the aged, then maybe your belief that supports it, is the injunction in the Bible to feed the hungry! Whatever it is, if you are able to find a value or belief system to hold that supports it, you are a step closer to charting your Vision.

The next thing I will want to find out about my desire will be what strengths do I have to pursue this desire? If the urge in your spirit is to take care of sick people, are you compassionate? Does it matter to you if you have to clean up other people's mess? If your urge is to help people make money, do you know how to make money for yourself? I believe that for your desire to evolve into a Vision you must be able to ask yourself if you have what it takes to work it out.

For the purpose of this post, my final query will be what benefits will my urge yield should it transform into a Vision? Besides me, who else will it benefit? Can I easily access these would be beneficiaries? You should be able to answer this particular question properly because a Vision is only as good as its benefits.

Finally, what will make this urge go away? If there is a tendency that a change in circumstances can make this urge or desire go away then maybe it shouldn't be your Life Work in 2011.

Friends "whatsoever you desire, if you will ask in my name, you shall receive what you want.” Your desires are put there for a reason, first because they are attainable, second, because they are beneficial and lastly, because they can be the key to a life that counts.

Take time out and think about your Desires today... Remember, that life may be hard but if you will stand upon your watch and not give up, you can be the light the world needs. You are a gift to your generation... Nevertheless.

Love you much

Sista B  


Thursday, December 2, 2010


In the past, I used to struggle with seasonal depression every last quarter of the year.  I struggled because my dreams were not all actualized and I used to feel it had something to do with me.  Truth is it always had something to do with me, but depression never changed a thing.

For a while now, I haven’t suffered depression in this regard anymore.  However, this end of year is even better! Not because I did all that I set out to do but because looking ahead there is a picture that I see and that picture just makes life so much easier and fulfilling to live right now!

What about you?

Are you depressed or are you looking ahead into 2011 and all of its possibilities? What will make the New Year your dream year? Whatever it is, it is a possible feat, and all it will take will be a VISION, ‘A picture of your preferred future’. 

I don’t know about you but a picture of success in my mind inspires and keeps me going.  I can see already all that I can do and become in 2011, so rather than dread it; I am looking forward to it.

Are you?

When you are sure of what you want to do or be in the New Year, then it is time to write it down… this is not a New Year resolution; this is a vision that has within it, a goal.  You not only see it but you can tell what problem it will solve or what question it will answer.

Having a VISION may not be all the energy that you need, except your VISION carries a PURPOSE.  This is for me an Eternal Value that I am looking to create with my VISION.  Something that will outlive me and keep giving to my generation is what I want to do next year. 

What about you?

Can others see this VISION in you? What resources apart from money do you require to actualize it? How long are you willing to stick with it?  Does it align with your CORE STRENGHTS and VALUES?

The year may be ending, and a lot of things may still be undone, rather than straining to look into the past why not embrace the future with a plan?  Write down your VISION, pursue it with all that you are and at the end of next year, no matter what may have happened, you will be able to say ‘I did my best’. 

Are you ready to DREAM? The future is yours for the taking…NeverTheLess.


Sistar B

Thursday, November 25, 2010


A few days ago, I drank something without looking at the label, someone gave me a bottle of some health drink and it looked to me like something you should drink at once, especially since I had drank the same thing last week at a function, though in a smaller package.  So I took the entire bottle and downed it.

Hours later I was feeling like I ate a horse, and I couldn’t explain why that was happening.  Eventually, someone pointed out to me that I was meant to drink only about 30 ml of the product diluted in water! The bottle held 473ml and by my estimation I had drank about 300ml!!!

Thank God it wasn’t something that could cause damage beyond my inability to eat for an entire day!  So it got me thinking, how many things have I gulped and swallowed without reading their manual or directions?  How many people have I dealt with not knowing who they really are, and how best to handle them?  How many years have I lived without a plan or a method?

All these questions have enabled me make up my mind that though this year is fast coming to an end and I cannot say I had a great plan in place when I set out; I will spend what is left planning for 2011.  I will set goals, I will put together processes, and I will exercise the required discipline to ensure that I follow through!

Back to the drink, it was a health drink, which meant it had lots of value to deliver, if I just took it in the right amount! The discomfort of not eating anything, yet feeling like I ate a horse is more than enough to ensure that I read labels and manuals before trying anything new, going forward.

The same way this drink had the capacity to help, it also had the capacity to make one uncomfortable if the dose is wrong.  The WORD of God is kind of like this health drink, there is a recommended dose, ά la Joshua 1:8, reading alone doesn’t work; there is a place for meditation… so how much WORD do you know? How much process are you sure of? …

Assumptions can kill, and from now I will do my best to not assume I know, because even the most harmless of things may have injurious side effects.

Watch this page for preparing for next year.  Even if it seems your 2010 was wasted, there is time to plan and utilize 2011 properly.  After all, he who has life still has hope. NEVERTHELESS…


Sistar B

Friday, November 19, 2010

Revealed vs. Concealed

Do you ever struggle with discerning what God’s will concerning a matter is? I do.  I struggle because sometimes it is a lot easier if I just know the end from the beginning, that way maybe I will be a lot more tolerant of the process I may have to go through.

I want to know the concealed sometimes because it helps to be able to explain the details to others who may want to question why I do the things that I do.  Sometimes it may not be something earth shattering, but at other times it is an absolutely defining issue like, who should I marry and should I invest in a particular venture or not.

A wise man said that God took a risk when he gave us freewill! What this means is that God gave man freewill so he will be able to choose and this was a great risk because the very first man derailed and disobeyed God’s injunction.  You would think that we will be like our father and just do without knowing for a certainty what our outcomes will be, but trusting that they will benefit us anyway.  Isn’t this what faith is?

But not me, most of the time, I want a guaranty that whatever it is I have to deal with will turn out just right and perfect!  This makes me preoccupied with the concealed and therefore, sometimes, miss out on enjoying the revealed.

My question is why is it that man is so interested in that which is beyond his naked eyes?  Why are we so caught up in what will happen in the future? I think it is because even though God took a risk with us and gave us the freewill, we prefer to be safe and so we do whatever we can to ensure that we know what may befall us.

However, that this is not the best way to live is what I have come to find out. I realize that every time I start to fidget because I want to unearth that which is concealed, I tend to miss that which is directly under my nose.  As a single person, being consumed with who I will marry can take away from enjoying my season of singleness, just like, as a new bride the more I press to know if my marriage will last or stand the test of time, the more I forget what it is like to have and enjoy my spouse.

As a minister, it is possible to be so consumed with what I cannot see that I may just not be able to stop and appreciate God for picking me, thereby reducing my ability to minister to God alone.  The list goes on and on…

What is the way out?  I now choose to do my best with what is revealed to me, and leave the concealed to God, who knows all things, to take care of.  I choose to do my very best in the here and now, trusting that God will take care of the future. 

I choose to do my best with the revealed, because I know that God will take care of the concealed.

Love you much,

Sistar B

Thursday, November 11, 2010


My favourite TV show on Sunday afternoon is Extreme Makeover, Home Edition, with Ty and his team.  There is just no episode I watch that doesn’t make me cry. My husband asked me once why I watch it, and I told him it’s because my heart is in the same place as that of the team.

What amazes me most is that there isn’t any visible sign that this show has any faith based ideal behind it, but each time I see these guys take a family and give them joy and hope, I just see that Jesus comes in Jeans and work tools sometimes and not only with a bible and a flowing robe.

I cry because I never fail to see how men and women who take time to stop and show love in a tangible way to others bring hope.  I cry when I watch because I keep saying to myself when will I be able to make a difference on a scale such as this?  When will I be able to go some where and give people a home, some hope and spread some joy around in the magnitude that Ty and his team do?

I weep when I watch because I am forced to ask ‘Lord, why don’t you put the resources in my hands and see how I will use it for your glory?’  I weep because sometimes knowing how little I can do right now, brings the inadequacy in my person to the fore.

But I have decided I will continue to watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I will continue to applaud Ty, his team and ABC for the great work they are able to do, but I will also keep watching because each time I come away from that TV, I know that I am important and I can make a difference.  I know I may not be able to build homes yet but maybe I can sweep premise where the owners for one reason or the other cannot.

I may not be able to bring a whole year’s food supply to a family but what if I just bring them lunch?  We all are called to make a difference and I will do my best within my resources right now.  I understand that if I have to wait until I have enough, my help may come too late.

I am learning through this show on TV, that whatever thoughtful contribution I make will go some way even if not a long way.

But most of all, I weep profusely, when the family who are being helped by Ty and his team is a family that have given so much even out of their own lack.  And I see that as long as there is love in our hearts we will be able to out give even the richest man on earth. 

My conclusion is this, while money makes the world go round, love keeps it from falling apart! And while we go around claiming that we know God, we must remember that God is LOVE, and if we love, we will find a way to make this world a better place.


Sistar B

Thursday, November 4, 2010


On Sunday I got into my car to drive to church and noticed that my entire dashboard was lit like a Christmas tree, all kinds of signs were blinking at me.  I drove the car the previous day and nothing was wrong with it, so I wondered what it is that could have gone wrong.

Then I went into the DIY mode, I mean I became an auto engineer immediately, fished out my car manual, (thank God for cars that come with their manuals) and went straight to the trouble shooting page.  The manual did explain the implication of my dashboard being lit up like that, but they couldn’t tell me why it lit up so suddenly.

Finally, we had to call an auto engineer and tens of thousands of naira later, we found out that rats had been feasting under the hood of my car for a while and they had chewed up all kinds of wires and these set off a chain of events that ended in sensors becoming damaged and … well you know the rest of the story.

What was my reaction?  First, I went back home to see if there was anything in my driveway that could be the attraction for rats and I can’t say I found any, really!!  Then I wondered if maybe this was some spiritual attack and I didn’t find an answer to that, because honestly that was ridiculous even for my mind.

So… we fixed the car, thanked God for the resources to do so and learnt a new lesson of ensuring that we look under the hood everyday going forward from now.

But this morning I signed in to take a look at the NEVERTHELESS page and my cyber friend Mary had posted something on (Check it out yourself) and 1 realized that rats chewing out my cables was nothing compared to what some people have had to face this week. 

Imagine going to church and becoming a terrorist target to the point that 58 of your fellow worshipers are killed and 70 injured!

I know we should pray for them, but it also makes me think hard of what I have done with the liberty that I have received from God.  No one stops me from worshiping; no one tells me I can’t pray in school or the market or even in my office.  No one is offended because I mentioned Jesus in traffic, (at least they can’t ask me why) but all I do is complain of how my soap ran out, how my water isn’t clean enough, how I don’t have three wardrobes of clothes…

So my question is Child of God, what’s with the attitude? Can we begin to thank God for the blessings we have today? It cannot compare with leaving for church and being carried out dead!

Let’s work on our attitude okay! I need an AA, (Attitude Adjustment) and I think you may need one.

What ever you face today remember, it could have been worse, that all is not lost is because there is always a light at the end of the tunnel; NEVERTHELESS.

Love you.

Sistar B

Thursday, October 28, 2010


In the process of life and in the process of becoming who God has called you to be, pain will come.  Earlier in my walk as a Christian, I wanted everything God had to offer, as long as he didn’t allow me go through any kind of pain. 

Later, I found out that I was like a woman who wanted to have children, and I mean biological children of her own, but didn’t want to go through the rigors of pregnancy or childbirth.  It is like asking God to drop a baby from heaven for me!

I heard a wise woman say that we ought not to pray for self control, because we already have self control, we just have to work out self control.  Now to be able to work out self control, I really have to go through trials, don’t you think?  Because do I weigh and claim that I have self control until I have faced some kind of trial that requires for me to exercise control?

When a man decides that he will tone up his muscles and develop a six pack, he doesn’t get it by buying himself ‘Sports Illustrated’ and checking out the abs of the athletes that are featured, nor does he develop a six pack by enrolling in a gym to sit and watch other people train and surrender themselves to the rigors of exercises.

We all want to have a great future, we all believe that behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining, but a great question we all must attempt to answer is just what are we supposed to do while still within the dark cloud?

 Here are a number of suggestions that can help.

  1. Keep your focus on the promise of a silver lining even though you can’t see it yet.
  2. Stop trying to explain your situation to others, they are not likely to understand, so why waste your breath?  In any case, you do not owe them an explanation, because he who has called you and delivered you up to be tried will come and save you.
  3. Stop complaining about your situation!  Why beat yourself up over something you lack the capacity to change?  Complaining will only push you further away, so keep the faith and keep quiet.
  4. Keep a positive attitude, because the testimony that counts is the testimony that you can give during the test.  If you can still say Jesus is Lord in the pain, then a great weight of glory is being formed in you.
  5. Character is definitely forming, because your experience here will help in determining how you will go through the next test.
  6. Finally, know for sure that your enlargement is at the corner.  Psalm 4:1, says God enlarges us in the place of distress.

Folks, as God’s children pain is part of the package and pain works out in us a refining that nothing else can.  The next time you hit a pain spot, remember that your muscles are being formed and in not too long a time, your six-pack will be something others will admire and glorify God for. 

Remember, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

 God Bless you real good.

Sista B

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


Last week I had the opportunity of ministering to a church family dear to my heart.  And from the moment I walked into that auditorium to the time I left, I was not in doubt as to what they stood for, and I definitely wasn’t confused about what they were about.  From their dressing to the way they spoke and the things they spoke about, it was living without a façade. Everyone, at least the ones I related with, knew that life lived from under the wraps of pretense was no life. At least it was not the life that God ordained for his children.

I had the opportunity to take another look at my own life and I remembered when it was just raw faith and God!  I remember how we used to literally come to God with no decorum, and no special order of service, we just came because we recognized he is our father and we had no one else to tell the issues that plagued our lives.  I remember that receiving the answers that we sought was not a question of how we couched our prayers and that God wasn’t interested in how we said what we had to say, as much as in what we had to say.

In our quest for relevance and impact, in pursuit of God to the place of destiny, the truth is that stuff will happen. The enemy will throw things at us in his bid to get us off track and deny the power that we carry.  How we respond will determine how we come out on the other side of it all.  Jesus said that He is the way, the truth and the life and today I am looking at Jesus, the truth.  It is not only about him being the real deal, it is about the fact that when we come to him we can be sure that he will tell it to us the way it really is.

There is the scripture that says we shall know the truth and it shall set us free, but I will like to extend it a little further by saying that if we know, tell and do the truth then surely, we shall be set free.  My policy is that nothing happened with you as the only player. If you used to steal, it had to be that you stole from someone.  If you had committed abortion for instance, someone performed it and someone got you pregnant.  My point is whether you tell the truth or not, someone already knows and if you don’t tell it yourself and they decide to tell it for you, it may be distorted.

There is a freedom that comes when you open up and tell the truth, there is also the fact that everything that the devil does is shrouded in secrecy and whatever he wants to keep us in, he will achieve in the place of secrecy.  Whatever you are able to expose, the devil cannot hold you with any more.  However, he is able to use the things we hide against us time and time again.  He taunts us, and he accuses us in the same breath!

People ask me why I find it easy to talk about my past and I say it is because I have been set free!  Some of it I am definitely not proud of, but because of those experiences I am a great Life Coach. I can tell you categorically that because it didn’t kill you, if you let God he will use it, your life will become better and others will benefit from it as well.

The next time you step out, remember that God wants to use the real you and all your experiences form the authentic you.  God’s mercy is the reason why we stand and he that has received mercy need not fear again.  Like Jesus said, let him that has no sin cast the first stone, as for me… I have been set free and so I will spread my wings and fly.  What about you, are you free?  Really free?

Sista B

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

You will make it...


How have you been?  This last Sunday was 10/10/10 and a lot of us made it such a big deal.  I didn’t set out to make a big deal of that day but you need to know that I kind of did eventually.

Even though the peculiarity of the date was not lost on me, it was the sound I could hear in the spirit that got to me.  It was one of those days when you wake up and just know without anyone saying anything to you that it was a special day.

I felt like the clouds were literarily heavy with all kinds blessings but I got to church and it felt like not every one was expectant and had the kind of anticipation that I had, it was then it dawned on me that the scripture that says that ‘the expectation of the righteous shall not be cut short’ is a proclamation and promise quite alright but it is also a call to come before God with an expectation.

Today’s post is therefore about our expectations, what are the things you are expecting out of life? How do you recognize that your season is here? There is a sound!!! Something that goes off in the Spirit that just tells you this is the right time to make your move.  Our lives are based on our relationship with God and our relationship with God is manifested in three different ways: knowing him, hearing him and obeying him. 

Like I wrote last week my life turned when Jesus came into my life and my diamond began to receive its due polish.  The thing about Christ’s coming into any life is that it brings a relationship.  So my question today will be what are you hearing? What is the sound in the Spirit, because expectation will come out of knowing and knowing will come out of hearing.

Your frequency needs to be tuned to the right source.  Tune out all the distractions and tune out all the frustrations, tune in to the spiritual channel that tells you what your day holds.  When you are tuned in here, and you begin to hear what is classified as life giving word, you begin to find out that your mindset changes and so do your expectations. 

I also find that talking about sounds a lot of us have not entered into the place of our destiny because we have chosen to be everybody else but us.  We all have sounds and our sound is the unique personality trait with which we are empowered by God to make a difference.  Samson’s sound was his strength, David’s sound was his courage and love for God, Gideon’s sound was his ability to run in fear to his source… what is your own sound?

The call to make a difference is hinged on our ability to utilize your sounds and be who God has called you to be.  So maybe this week you have been able to peep into the future and you are finally able to say what your diamond will look like after polishing. Maybe the reality scares you because you seem so far from it, it is okay.

As long as it is your sound and you are willing to join forces with God, I can assure you that you will make it.  Gideon was the original ‘manless’ man.  But the day he heard a sound from heaven he realized that his sound was good enough.  He awoke to his reality and became a judge and a warrior.

I know the clouds are gathered and everywhere is dark and you are frightened but it is a good thing, because despite the darkness and the ferocity of the thunder and lightening, there still is a silver lining before behind the clouds. 'You will make it' is the sound of the Spirit today.

God bless you.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


I was speaking to someone yesterday and I asked her “How will you describe my life?” “Complicated”, she replied.  She went on to explain that she was sure it didn’t all start like that.  What she described as complicated is about all the multiple roles I have to fill on a daily basis and somehow, God helps me to get through them.  So, even though my life can seem complicated, I will not trade it for anything else.

The thing is there was a time that my life was so predictable that it didn’t seem there was anything that I could contribute.  I heard it said to me that I was a failure even before I had a chance to start and it was for reasons like that, that I didn’t think that I had a chance.  

Then the table turned, everything I didn’t even think I was capable of dreaming about began to unravel and things began to change.  It is for this reason that this blog NEVERTHELESS is born.  So many of us were incapable of dreaming for a great part of our lives and we didn’t think we had something to contribute.

Then the tables turned for you too.  The question is what happened to me? How did the table turn? Jesus found me, one rainy Saturday morning, I woke up and I knew that my day had come.  I couldn’t quite explain to anyone the details of that day ahead but I just knew that it was my day. 

And now sixteen years later my life is complicated.  Which means my life is full, I have a husband who I love and I know loves me too, and three adorable children. Even though I know I didn’t even deserve these, I am actually at a place where I can make a contribution for change.

Twenty years ago, I didn’t look like this, and probably didn’t even send off any vibes indicative of a future with meaning but it was because I was a diamond in the rough.  Today maybe you are at the exact spot I was in life twenty years ago, and a lot of people have said you carry nothing to be celebrated. I want to let you know that it is because you are still a diamond in the rough.  

No precious stone looks like the finished product but with time and plenty of fire and purifying it begins to look exactly like it was meant to be.  Nevertheless is the word that changes everything.  So you may look like a lump of clay right now and all kinds of struggles may be the hallmark of your life, Nevertheless you are still a diamond even though still in the rough.  So kick up some more dirt, stand straight, square your shoulders and keep your chin up!  Because I know you are a diamond, only still filled with dirt.