Monday, April 30, 2012


I have this dress in my wardrobe; no I didn't buy it, one of my sisters bought it and gifted it to me.  Pretty lace at the top and flared from beneath the bust to my knees.  Each time I remember my PBD I begin to think up an appropriate occasion when I will wear it. 

I am not famous for social events, I pretty much like my bedroom and I love spending time with my books. Time with Dstv is delightful for me, but because of my PBD I am willing to endure an evening with just about any kind of company; it doesn't have to be my favourite company as long as I can wear my dress!

But you know something; I never even knew that dress existed, until my sister gifted it to me.  The first time I wore it was a tad too tight, yet all I can think about now is where to wear the dress to.  I really want to wear my dress! 

I remember when I was a young girl, my mother happened to be the original Virtuous woman. I mean she bought our Christmas clothes in July and somehow when December came around you find she had shopped fashion forward! We were always the centre of attraction; she got it right every time.  And I remember that any opportunity we get, my sister and myself, we sneak into my mother’s room just to try on our Christmas clothes and we will do this almost every week till December. 

I also remember that when I realized that I was called to teach, I wanted to teach so badly that it was like a bad case of the rash.  Everyone who had the misfortune of coming around me received a dose of my teaching.  Sometimes I will wonder why it was taking so long for God to unveil me! Couldn't He see that I was willing and I was available? Today I can see God smile and say then "willing, yes, available yes, prepared no." And I can see my father smile and say to me patience my child, patience.

What gifts have you received that you are anxious to use? Guess what I found out about my dress, at the time I received it, I could wear it, but more because I was determined to wear it than the fact that it was a perfect fit.  I tried it on a lot of times and even though I could pull it off, it was always at the risk of not eating anything if I went out in it.

Recently, months after I got my PBD I wore it, and because I had made some lifestyle change and lost some weight, I was finally ready to step out in my PBD.  Like my gift of teaching, I had raw talent, but I needed refining and I needed maturity, both of which take time. So today over ten years later, I can say more than being available and willing to step out, I am now more prepared. 

I still have no idea where I will wear my PBD to but with my weight loss I know I will look fabulous in it whenever the event shows up. Submit to your preparation process despite the urge to step out in your dress. When you are truly ready, you will do amazingly well because then it will be preparation meeting with opportunity to release destiny.

So as I hang my dress back in the wardrobe today waiting for its day, I will be patient and content with where I am and what I do.  I encourage you to be patient too. Will you be content with the back of the desert for now? Everything you learn there will be useful when you get to the palace.  Remember David, remember the lion and the bear, and by all means remember Goliath.  However, also remember that at the back of the desert, David may have felt like he was the forgotten son, but being there alone gave the opportunity to hone his warrior skills and when the day came, he did really meet opportunity prepared.

If you like yourself now, if you like where you are while working to move to the next phase, it will be easier to enjoy that phase when it comes. After all, there is a blue print somewhere; we are just acting out a script.


Sistar B

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Monday, April 23, 2012

Charles Colson: Course Redirection

                     "What we do flows from who we are". Charles Colson


Another week, another opportunity to live the dream life.  Welcome to NeverTheLess your get better page. 

I awoke yesterday to the news of the death of Mr. Charles Colson, the Presidential Aide to President Richard Nixon when the Watergate scandal broke.

The truth is we cannot talk about Charles 'Chuck' Colson without mentioning the Watergate Scandal and the fact that he actually went to Prison because of Watergate. So for the first forty one (41) years of his life all that he ended up with was a prison sentence.  This had to be one of the lowest points of his life. If anything happened that was lower, I am not aware.

Before he was indicted and sent off to Prison however, Colson had met someone who just got converted to Christianity and was very excited to share both his new life and new learning with Mr. Colson. So at over 41 years of age, Charles Colson came face to face with the reality of the depraved life he had lived till that point.  So he also converted to Christianity and from that point his life took on new meaning and he started to see how he could redirect the course of his life and leave a worthy legacy in the end.

While this is not a post on the case for Christianity, it is a call for us all to reexamine our lives and see if how we have lived or are living will leave the right legacy.

How does Mr. Colson's story affect your pursuit of a dream? First, someone pointed to him what was wrong with his life, and he listened.  He saw for the first time that his life was full of pride and unfortunately, headed nowhere.

Upon this discovery he repented and converted to the Christian faith, he became what today is called an evangelical and began to study everything he could find on the faith, especially the Bible.  By the time he was granted probation after months in prison, Mr. Colson had come to the realization that life wasn't worth much if it was lived selfishly. He had found Purpose!

He started a ministry to care for prisoners and ex prison inmates, something he continued to do for many years.  Colson died yesterday at 80 years of age and we can learn the following from him:

1. We can redirect our course irrespective of how long we have either worked the wrong dream or failed because of character defects.

2.  There is always someone who can point to us both our folly and what we should do about it (remember our posts on mentoring).

3.  If we listen to our Mentor and submit ourselves we most likely will be able to find a way to live our lives again, with dignity.  We should be open to learning new things.

4.  We must be able to find a way to ensure that our Purpose serves others, not just ourselves; remember that is the point of living a dream.

In conclusion, Mr. Colson lived 80 years in all, the first 41 lived in duplicity and a lack of moral compass which culminated at Watergate.  He lived another 39 years, where he redirected the course of his life and made so much impact that we are talking about him today.

It therefore does not matter how low your life or dreams may have sunk, maybe all you require is a simple course redirection; you will make it NeverTheLess.  If Charles Colson made it, you can too!  Remember that a dream is only one if it is acted upon.  Till next week, God bless you.


Sistar B

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Monday, April 16, 2012

Money And The Actualisation of Your Dream

Good morning welcome to another week at NeverTheless, your get better page.  As you know on this page we are all about dreaming and getting it done.   So how has it been living your dream and what challenge have you had to deal with lately?

Last week I was in a Coaching session with someone, who wants to start her dream business so she can transition over time from paid employment to becoming her own boss.  As we sat together to figure out what might be the first step to take, she mentioned to dreaded word, MONEY! Knowing from experience that once we begin to think about money, the tendency is to freeze and thereby not move to pursue the dream, I told her that we were going to continue our coaching sessions, but we will not be dealing with the subject of money in a very long time.

Now someone may think that maybe like an ostrich I am asking her to bury her head in the sand and not think through the financial implications of living her dream, but I can assure you that is not the case. I was just saying that at the stage we were in, if she started to think about how to raise the finances to fund her dream, she may be tempted to give up before she had even begun.

I am sure you are now wondering what you should be doing at the initial stage if you are not meant to think about money.  Well for a start, what are the things that you can do that do not require money?  Thinking through your vision, writing it down, defining your target audience and the vehicle for your dream all don’t require money.

Sometimes, even picking a board, if your dream must be lived at that stage from the beginning, does not require money!  Now that you have done this, what else can you do?  What about settling with yourself what you are willing to sacrifice?  What will you give up for a while to begin to build a nest of funds that will serve as your seed capital to take off?

What services can you barter on?  For example, if you require the services of a lawyer to draft some legal documents and agreement for you, who is a lawyer within your circle of influence and what services can you offer him/her in return for his own services?

Remember that no one owes your dream anything, by way of ensuring that you succeed; that is entirely up to you.  The first funding that you will most likely find for your business, will be first from you, and then from those who are in your immediate circle of influence. When I started, my husband helped out, my family did what they could, and I had a few friends who were willing to loan me some funds.

For my friends I made sure that I didn’t ask for sums of money indefinitely, instead I set a time frame for repayment and I did my best to stick to it. The truth is that if you are a first timer, no established organization will be willing to take the chance with you; that happens only after you have a track record of success.  It is therefore, (my personal opinion) a waste of time chasing after the banks, do a little more of self and creative financing.

Another step you may want to consider is to start very small.  I have heard people say that their dream isn’t the kind that you start small, and I beg to differ. You can start every dream small, and commit to growing it to whatever size you want. 

Remember, that a dream isn’t worth the sleep except you are wide awake when dreaming it.  Put action to your dreams, be willing to make your own sacrifice (put your money where your mouth is) and with time, you will begin to gain the recognition that brings about funding.

Till next week, remember that one step at a time, no matter how small those steps are, if you stick to the plan, you will make it NeverTheLess, you will.

See you next week.


Sistar B
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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Define Your Target

Hello People, a happy Easter in arrears!  So sorry this post is late, along with the Easter wishes; I had a weekend where my body just gave up on me!  Apparently I had been running this vehicle without the appropriate maintenance and it just refused to get up one more time at the weekend.

Anyhow, to today’s post.  I wanted to share an experience with you all and hopefully, we will all find something useful within it.  I remember when we started Effectual Magazine, we wanted to become the magazine for every woman.  We were looking for a product that will win with every body that picks it up and so we did our best in marketing to every single person that we came across.

While the courage to walk up to just about anyone and tell them that their lives depended on our product was a great feat, we also found out with time that we were dissipating energy in every direction and therefore we were not making much of a head way.  I found that we spent more time convincing people to take the magazine, but more disheartening was the fact that when we returned for feedback, we found out that these people, after we had badgered them, usually took the magazines but never got round to reading them.  This for me was unacceptable!

The reason this was unacceptable was simple; as much as we wanted to be able to sell the magazines, we wanted more for our buyers to read them.  This got me thinking, and what I found out was that except the product is air, it is not meant for everyone!  Which meant that we had to go back to the drawing board to ascertain which women were our target audiences?  We quickly realized that the woman, who will make it a point to purchase Effectual and actually read it to add value to her life, isn’t necessarily the church attending woman; it goes beyond that.  Our product is fashioned for the highly intelligent, spiritual, not religious and upwardly mobile woman. This woman had to have both brain power, focus and a craving for the best life, to be able to read us.

Once we defined our target, our work became easier! Rather than just pursue everyone we came across, we saved our breath and time for the woman who I have just defined above!

Should you be starting a dream right now, it is therefore imperative that you define not just your dream but also your target audience before you even begin.  This will save you time and energy!  For those who have been working and running with their dreams but still find it not as effective as they will like, maybe you also need time to define who you are called to!

The Easter weekend had me thinking, and I am pretty sure it is the fact that Jesus was very clear on who he was called to, that has made his brand the strongest and longest standing one in all history.  It was simple “I am called to the lost …” He says.  Any wonder His brand is still waxing strong?

Remember, it is not about the dream; it is about what you do after you dream.  You will make it NeverTheLess.


Sistar B