It was in the middle of a really interesting conversation, we were all smiles and everything was bright and sunny. All of a sudden I sensed that my part of the room was becoming dark, dreary and it seemed to me that I was gradually sinking into a very black hole and hard as I tried to stay afloat, so I could continue to participate in the conversation, I failed woefully.
Suddenly, it seemed that life was being sucked out of me and I couldn’t tell for how long I struggled to breathe as well as struggle to disguise what I was facing. But it didn’t work. Someone had observed that I was suddenly quiet and questions started to fly. What was wrong with me?
How I could I tell them that my thoughts strayed to the latest project I was working on, and all that I could see were the challenges and all that could go wrong? Just how would I make them understand that it had nothing to do with them, but that, as bold as I look and carry on, I am sometimes crippled with fear from within?
Two months later, we were gathered again, having a really great conversation and reminiscing on the success of that project and how faithful God was in pulling it off! I was beaming with smiles from one ear to the other! I started to say “I knew God was always going to come through,” and then I heard the inner voice ask, “Really? Did you?”
Isn’t it wonderful how with benefit of hindsight we can always tell that our dreams and aspirations will work out if we just take each step with faith in our hearts? But how come just when we need the faith the most, what we do is wallow in fear?
Well, I cannot claim to have all the answers, but one thing I can definitely tell you is that based on my experience, fear is not going to move out of your life and projects simply because you want it to. Fear is always going to be a part of the things we do, especially if they have any weight and if they will add any kind of value at all. That is why my counsel will be that we should arise and do it despite the fear that we feel.
When you get to the other part of the divide, you will find that what you feared will happen didn’t happen after all. But the next time, you will still fear the exact same thing. People say to me that he that fears has no faith, and I reply and say that he that fears and still goes ahead is full of faith.
I have yet another big project ahead of me, bigger than anything I have ever done and I can see and sense fear moving in already. I still break out in sweat and sometimes I still feel like I am sinking into that dark hole all over again. I wish I can make that stop, but I cannot seem to be able to pull that off, so I have settled for going ahead in spite and despite the fear that I feel, knowing that in not too long a time, victory will be declared in my favour.
Whatever it is that you have to face today, do not seek not to have to fear, but instead please keep pushing even in the face of fear. I know you will make it, NeverTheLess.