REVIEWS FOR SISTA POWER 2

Welcome, thanks for all the good will messages you have sent concerning the book Sista Power.  God bless you! Please commit to buying a copy for you and maybe one other person.  You will not be disappointed.
See below the second part of my ‘Sistafriend’; Bola Essien-Nelson’s review of the book.  She calls them “My Salty thoughts”.  Isn’t that just empowering?  Thank you so much, Bola. God will honour you in Jesus name.  Please see her salty thoughts below:

In Agreement (page 35)
How do I know who is in agreement with me Lord? This was the question I prayed as I read this part of the book. God just told me to do my own and he will do his own. He will only lead women of like mind to partner with me because I am doing his bidding. For a God given task, there is no need to force or cajole anyone. Deep calls unto deep, I guess. But the truth is like Bidemi says, women should really get their act together more and leave all this cattiness and petty jealousies behind. A battle is raging against our seed. Is this the time to be checking our hair and nails? Methinks not. The truth is that if we channeled all the energy we use competing in the arena of fashion and weave on, into peer coaching, mentoring and other value adding activities, I dare say our society would be a better place. When will we change, we women?

The Action Exercises
I love these questions!  I encourage everyone to spend time after reading to respond to them. They have helped me better articulate my collaboration goals and the reasons why I am doing what I am doing in 2013.

Thoroughly steeped in The Word
Not sure you can go one page and not encounter the Bible.  Bidemi is not picking stuff out of the air. She has tied all she is sharing with us to God’s word. I like how she has woven bible stories all through the pages using them to highlight places where collaboration was at play. From Miriam and baby Moses, to the Mary and Martha, etc. You and I know that the best collaborative effort we know is the one between God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit!, Right? Together the work, hand in hand to deliver, redeem, empower humanity! Praise God!

Passion!
Indeed Bidemi, Indeed! Passion is key! I have not met any mom who is not passionate about her children. This makes JUM (Joined Up Motherhood) such a natural thing for moms to be a part. You are so right. When we have passion for a thing or cause of goal, it helps us overcome obstacles (real and imagined) and to see the world as a place of infinite possibilities’ (page 74). I don’t know what it is that I would face in this world that will make me stop praying for my children. Can you? Think about your mandate, or your goals. Are you passionate about them? You need to be! PapaGod, above all, make me passionate about you!

It does not have to be BIG! (pg 84 to 85)
We are all part of a bigger painting. We all have our own ‘dot’ to contribute to the masterpiece God is creating. Your mandate, that change you want to effect, that cause you want to drive does not have to huge to be worthwhile. Just using your life’s experience to help another overcome a painful situation is a worthy as building a shelter for women. The point is that we all must realize that we are on this earth for a purpose and the truth is not all of us will be Deborah in this world. Some of us will be Jael. Not all of us can be Mary, mother of Jesus. Some of us might just be the little slave maiden in Namaan’s household. But all these ‘dots’ were mighty in God’s sight and they impacted the world equally. My favourite example of this in the book is when Bidemi talks about how she was sick and about to go in for surgery.  A group of women stood in prayer over her from all over the world. Do you think they were just praying? Not at all. No, that was collaboration at its best. When women come together to hold another up in her time of need. I am sure that those women added some awesome dots to God’s masterpiece that day!

10 Must Answer Questions on Page 88
Even if you don’t have any collaborative effort in mind, I find these questions very useful in getting a better understand of who you are as a person. What you stand for, your values, principles and very importantly, your purpose.

It must add Value!
God never does anything for ‘fun’. As that old song goes, ‘where ever Jesus went, he was doing good’. When God send us out to collaborate, it is always to add value. I like what Bidemi says about this because it  helps me when negative thoughts plague me. Look back on anything you have done with others, no matter how small and ask yourself this question. Did it add value to even one life? If you can answer ‘yes’, then give all the glory to God, you have fulfilled destiny. You have collaborated. You have sown a good seed into the soil of our future generations to come. You have tapped into a mighty source of power: The power that becomes available when women, sisters, come together to work for God: Sista Power!

Bola Essien-Nelson
Remember to check out Bola’s blog here; http://diaryofadesperatenaijawoman.blogspot.com

Here is to your success!

REVIEWS FOR SISTA POWER

Hello people, it is Tuesday, I know;  life has just happened back and forth for me.  Anyhow, through this week beginning from today, I will be having guests on NeverTheLess to share their thoughts on my book Sista Power scheduled for release this weekend here in Lagos, Nigeria.

Today’s post is the first of two by my Sista Bola Essien-Nelson; of the DNW fame now The Salt Chronicles.  Please see her blog here:   http://diaryofadesperatenaijawoman.blogspot.com


Please enjoy and make up your mind to buy a copy of Sista Power.  You will be glad you did.

“Coals stay hotter and burn brighter when clustered together. But Separate one from the group and it quickly grows cold and faint”.  This quote right at the beginning of the book, more or less encapsulates what collaboration is all about. The ‘why’, the ‘how’ and the ‘when’ of collaboration. As I read these words, my heart was so filled with gratitude to God because I just knew that he was encouraging me knowing the task he had set before me in 2013. Papa God, thank you for being so kind and good. Of course, it was natural for me to feel cold and faint sometimes in my prayer closet but there is no need to stay that way. I can collaborate with others. I can cluster with others and get my prayer coals burning hot and bright again.

The Mandate
I have come to believe and this book has confirmed it that, most of the time when God gives you a task to do, you usually have to wonder ‘how can this be?’ It always seems so big, too big for you and for me, that right there is a sure banker sign that it is a God thing. For were you able to do it in your own steam, then it would be a man thing. When I think about JUM (Joined Up Motherhood), I get clammy hands and my heart beats faster but then I remember that it is God’s initiative and that it is for the greater good of his children and I relax in the confidence that God will accomplish his work. The mandate is not about me. It’s about ‘the greater good’. Thank you Sista Power for making me see this again.

Collaboration
According to Sista Power Collaboration is all about recognizing that you need help and reaching it for it. Collaboration is not an admission of weakness. It is actually the reverse. It takes real character to step out to work with others. To share your dream or goals with others and invite them to travel your journey with you. And in the times we are facing today, much of what needs to be done has to be a collaborative effort for it to have an impact. The task is too big. We need to partner with others. This book is a guide on how to do this ‘well’ and wisely.

So honest. So fresh.
No airs. No ‘humble’ bragging. Simply real. There is just something that strikes me about people when I meet them for the first time and the same thing happens when I am reading a non-fiction inspirational book. It is how ‘real’ the words sound to me. As I read this book, I feel like the author is right there with me, sharing with me from an earnest heart about her life and her experiences and I love that.  Bidemi does not try to ‘make like she is perfect’. I can identify with her. Sometimes I read books and I just feel that, underneath all the ‘self-effacing’ words, there is still something screaming out for me to notice how smart, business-savvy, prayerful, helpful and philanthropic’ the author is. Such books simply put me off. I can get that from my church!  Nowadays, we are all ‘forming’ perfect and it is not helping. Sista Power is a down to earth conversation between you and another lady who wants to help you reach your full potential in life as you collaborate with others…..wisely.

The battle between the woman and seed of the woman….(page xxi)
Papa God, thank you for this. Indeed the battle is one for our children, our seed. I am grateful for you showing me through Bidemi how important JUM is and I just ask you to help me. As Bidemi says, thank you for being interested in how it all unfolds.

The Ripple effect (page 29)
Bola just do as God has led you, he will cause the ripple effect to impact as he wills. The key is for me to move! Be the pebble! Make the waves… no matter how little the first wave may be. Make it!
These are my thoughts on this so awesome book.  Please grab your copy now.

Blessings!

Bola Essien-Nelson

KK, FIFTEEN YEARS LATER; LESSONS LEARNT

Welcome!  Sorry this week’s post is coming late, I had a major challenge deciding what to post.  Eventually, I decided to wait and use the opportunity of my older son’s birthday to post a few lessons, I have learnt being the mother of a gentleman in every sense.

Fifteen years ago, Kenechi came into our lives exactly the way we had prayed to God that he will come.  When I got pregnant, we (Mark and myself) started to pray every single day as he developed in the womb.  We prayed specific prayers that aligned with his formation stage in the womb and we asked God for a lot of things and God answered every single one of those prayers.  

Today as he turns fifteen, I take a look at the journey of being his parents and I cannot but say that he has brought us only joy…  today I am thanking God for my firstborn son; Kenechukwu Chinonso David Mordi.  Beautiful inside and outside… so calm sometimes I wonder?  Friend to his siblings, extremely compassionate heart.  I thank God for KK, the public speaker extraordinaire, for the many ways he has accepted us and never hassled us even for the things he wanted and we couldn’t afford or wouldn’t give.

I thank God for the special mind and the ability to retain information that he has given to my first born son.  Today, I don’t see how I deserve to be his mother but I am honoured to be.  

So what lessons can I share from being KK’s mother for fifteen years?

1.       As we prayed and committed his formation and growth and still do today, if you will commit your dreams and aspirations to God, you will be amazed how far you will go.  We are fifteen years today and still counting, that can be your story too.  Prayer waters the ground for our seeds of work to yield a harvest.

2.      Like I mentioned we prayed specifically concerning what we wanted to see in his features and temperament and he is exactly as we prayed.  Concerning your dream, if you will take time to keep deliberately speaking and praying, you will get what you pray for.  We prayed when his nails were forming and when his hair was growing, we prayed about every single part of him forming.  You cannot birth your dream without watering it with prayer.

3.      As his parents we did everything within our capacity to give him a conducive environment to thrive, we told him we loved him when it was needful, we disciplined him when it was required, and we constantly spoke positively about him and his future.  If your dream will make it, you will also be required to give it what is required at every point.

4.      By the time KK was old enough we sent him off to school, where we entered into collaborative efforts with his teachers and school authorities to continue to shape him.  However, we didn’t hand him over and never went back to inspect how he was doing, we kept watch.  When we noticed that he wasn’t thriving, we took him elsewhere.  Your dream is no different, you will have to enlist the help of others along the way, and you will need to keep inspecting what they are doing.  And should you notice your team members are giving the wrong vibes… step in and be the parent.

5.      Finally, we recognise that even though KK is our son, he belongs to God and ultimately to the world to make a difference.  So we tell him; we encourage him to begin to look beyond his needs alone and know that others are depending on him.  We tell him that he is on earth for a PURPOSE and one he must rise to in due season.  Your dream may be birth by you; it has eternal potential to impact lives and generations even after you.  It is your responsibility to position it in a way that it fulfills that specific destiny it carries.  So make sure you know what your dream achieves put alongside eternity.

So, there you have it.  Some of the lessons I learnt from being the mother of a fifteen year old.  I know your dream may differ, but as long as you recognise its importance, and give it ‘your’ best possible, you will make it NeverTheLess.  

Please join me in praying for KK that he will make it NeverTheless.  Happy Birthday son, you are so loved.

Here is to your success

Sistar B

My Book, Super Eagles and PUSH

Great week ahead, I dare say! Congratulations to our own dear Super Eagles; re: last week’s post, I did say that the man who has something to prove finds a way to win.  What other way to prove that life principle than having a home based player score the winning goal?  Lesson:  Never underestimate the power of the ‘underdog’.

I have another piece of news and this is both personal to me and a great blessing (even if I say so myself) to everyone who will have the opportunity of laying their hands on this special resource!

My first book ever is now out of Press!  It is titled SISTA POWER and it is about collaborations.  If you ever want to discover how to join forces with others to bring about a collective fulfillment of destiny this book is a must read for you. To order a copy please call 08029056642 or email bidemi@effectualmag.com

Upon the release of Sista Power last week, at least three people did say to me that they were impressed with the discipline with which I take on a project and finish it, and wondered how they can do that too.

At the risk of trivialising their compliments and their concern about themselves, I have this to say; like every one of them, I cannot say I am that focused and disciplined.   Even the best of us can become afraid, discouraged, unsure and much more.  I am no different. 

So what is the solution?  Well, what I can attest to is that I commit and keep doing what it is that I need to get done.  Here are some tips that may help you move your dream along too.

1.       ENVISION THE FINISH LINE:  Just like most members of the Super Eagles may have dreamt of holding the AFCON Cup in their hands leading to the final game, you too must envision the euphoria, fulfillment and sense of accomplishment that finishing will give you.  Smell the environment, hear the compliments and feel the sensation of finishing.  Let that picture be part of your driving force.  I mean, know what finishing can make you feel like.

2.      THINK ON PAST ACCOMPLISHMENTS:  Some times when, I am struggling with a current task, I think on the other times in the past when I had felt like I couldn’t do it or go on anymore, yet was able to finish the execution in the end.  Think on how when you eventually finished the task, remember how it felt like and think about the value your finishing added to you and others, and get up and keep going.  I was not in the room when Coach Keshi gave his pep talk to the players, but I am sure he told them that in 1994, it was done, and can be done again.

3.      THINK ABOUT WHAT COULD GO WRONG SHOULD YOU NOT FINISH: This seems like a fear factor, but I mean if the adrenaline that surges through your veins when you think of the worst case scenario of when you don’t finish energises you to go on; it becomes a good thing.  For my book, I kept thinking about how others may never really get to understand what power lies in collaborations and how they can take advantage of it.  I kept thinking about the fact that being a Christian, I will die one day and return to God; how will I face Him to say I didn’t complete the assignment He gave me?  I am sure the Super Eagles knew their reception back home will be warmer and more exciting with a win than with a loss. 

4.      REMEMBER PURPOSE:  As long as you understand that everything you do on earth if you are deliberate is tied to God’s PURPOSE for you.  Then even the task at hand becomes in your sight even more important than you may have thought.  For me writing the book, wasn’t just the next thing to do, I was sure it was part of God’s plan for my NOW, so I had to keep at it.  The Super Eagles could have given up in the initial round of the tournament especially since no one believed in them anyway, but they must have thought, that it was part of God’s plan for their lives for the now!

     Friends, life can be a drag, living on purpose can be hard and laborious, but never forget that it was for such a time as this that you were created.  So just get up and keep going; you will make it NeverTheLess… ask the Super Eagles, success is sweet.

Here is to your success!

Bidemi

SUPER EAGLES; HUNGER FOR SUCCESS VS EXPERIENCE

Blessings!  God bless and keep you in this month of February.  

I am not anywhere near what you will call a football fan, neither am I as educated in the game as a lot of people out there.  However, I do know a life principle when I see one.

At this time a few weeks back, in my home country, everyone had something to say about the Super Eagles; our National Football Team, the comments were largely consistent; most of it was negative.  The tournament started  and the mood   remained the same two draws  and a win  by the skin of our teeth   ushered  Nigeria  into  a Quarter final battle   against the  most prominent African time, Cote d’ Ivoire.  Almost everyone, was very sure that we were finished where football was concerned as a nation.  Then the worst happened.  The Coach, Stephen Keshi; for me one of the most purposeful ex national players for Nigeria, released the list of the members of the team that were going to be playing Ivory Coast and he had a number  of home based players!  It was like he poured petrol into an already raging fire, everyone wanted his head!  Surely, he had no idea what coaching was all about!

 

I didn’t watch any match prior to yesterday’s and I didn’t watch yesterday’s either, but you cannot be in Nigeria and not know what’s up if the national team is playing… so I heard all the commentaries from my brothers to my neighbours to people buildings away from us.  As you know Nigerians are pretty passionate people.  Even though I was in my bedroom trying to catch some much needed sleep, it was impossible to miss the fact that Nigeria had won the match.

By this morning, all of Facebook and Blackberry world had been overtaken by Nigerians who always ‘knew’ Nigeria had what it took… everyone suddenly is very proud of our national team and  are expressing  belief in Stephen Keshi’s strategy.  I am not going to try and pick holes in their sudden change of heart and belief but I do know that if you are pursuing a dream, then you can learn a thing or two from this experience.

 

1.       THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM AT THE TOP:- In discussing this subject with my husband this morning, (he is a football aficionado) he told me that Clemens Westerhof had pulled this same feat off in the past, (in AFCON  1990).  But he was pretty sure that a foreign club side does not make the player, what makes him is his talent and his commitment to success.  Just like everyone wrote the team off because it had more home based players than internationals, people may look at your small dream now and write you off. But if you have the same hunger for success like those young men had yesterday, even a savvy and favourite tournament team like the Elephants will not stop you.

2.      PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR FRESH EVEN WHEN THEY DON’T KNOW IT – As with most things in life, when we get used to stuff, venturing out  in any other direction can be very uncomfortable, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that when we get ‘fresh’ we are relieved.  The home based players were fresh, inexperienced at that level maybe; but fresh.  Even with your businesses and dream, the key is to be fresh.  Give them something extra in unexpected doses or fashion… even if you are pursuing a dream in a field others have excelled, what makes you stand out is not doing it exactly like they have, but in presenting your own to them fresh.

3.      FRESH HAS SOMETHING TO PROVE – When everyone kept castigating Coach Stephen Keshi’s choice of players, I wondered what their problem was… basically, if these internationals were that good and they are, why will they risk tarnishing their image and reputation on a team most say has been jinxed for nineteen years?  What will playing at AFCON bring them that they don’t already have?  Fame? Money? What?  The home based players on the other hand, were green and fresh, probably never been outside the shores of Nigeria… maybe dreaming to adorn themselves in the national kit was even a tall order.  But here is opportunity thrown on their laps… in my experience people like these have something to prove!  It is why I will prefer to do business with a young up and coming ‘start up’ any day over an established structured one, especially when I need someone to give me great service.  All of us small businesses and new dreamers on the block have something to prove.  What this means is we go the extra mile.  So the next time someone asks you why they should trust you to deliver, tell them because you have something to prove.

Well I did say I was no football buff per se, but I do hope you can draw these parallels between the Super Eagles and you; trying to chart a course for your dream and create a world class business.  In the final analysis, just like the Super Eagles went on to surprise even their most ardent supporters, you too can go on to surprise even yourself.

Remember no matter what they say, you will make it NeverTheLess!

Here is to your success!

Sistar B