SHOW, DON'T TELL.

Brand new week, brand new mercies!  Welcome.

Last week I posted on talking about your dream to bring clarity especially when you are not sure what the process should be and what should come first.  Looking at the responses by mail to me, I am minded to post today on the ethics of talking about you or your dream.

I know a few people who seize every opportunity to launder their image in the name of talking about their dreams or letting people recognise how good they are at what they do.  Here is where the expression "talk is cheap" very apt.  When in my last post I said talk for clarity, I didn't mean that we become a nuisance and not allow those around the opportunity of a breather because we want to talk about what we are doing.  I meant if you are not sure, then it is a good time to share with others so you can become clear.

I personally take exceptions though to times when people monopolize conversations to tell me how good they and their products or services are.  When we get into the territory of letting everyone know how good we are, the cardinal rule is let your product or service do the talking. 

A wise person once said, if you have to tell people how important you are, maybe you really are not that important.  To that absolute gem of wisdom, if you have to tell others how great your products and services are, maybe it is time to actually concentrate on making the experience people have around your product and service that great, so they can be the ones who go around telling their circle how great you are!

I know it is great business sense to advertise, but let's be honest for a moment how many of the adverts out there actually represent the truth of their products and services.  Last week, I had a meeting within the premises of a certain hotel and the person who greeted us at the gate says 'welcome to the best hotel in...' I couldn't help laughing, because the person welcoming me to the best hotel was doing so with a frown!

I will rather he smiled at me and said nothing and I will go on to give voice to the way his welcome made me feel, than his announcing his perceived position to me without providing me with commensurate enjoyment of his facility. 

coutesy http://katdish.net

Before you claim the number one spot even without the permission of your competition, take time out to ensure that when I show up at your shop, business premises or I come across your product, I have an experience that can confirm your claim.

All in all, I am saying that people may forget what you say to them, but they can never forget how you make them feel.  Your dream brings you fulfillment, but it is never about you, it is about the experience and impact it will have on others.  So stop talking now, and begin to work to ensure that your product and service will speak for itself.

Till next week, never forget, that even the dream of becoming number one is achievable, as long as you focus on the customer or client than on your own ego.  You will make it NeverTheLess.

Hugs

Sistar B

TALK IS CLARITY

Welcome! How was your weekend? Mine went up and down, but thank God for up again.  On today’s post I will like to take on something we have all heard and been told is not good for us. 

Do you remember how we have all used the expression, ‘talk is cheap?’  Well! That is what I will like to talk about today.  It seems everywhere I go, I tend to come across people who are setting out on one long dream trip but are not quite sure if what they have will take them to their destination.  I also see a lot others who have an idea what they want to do, but they are not again clear on the steps; not sure what should come first and what should follow.

Well, this post is for those of us in this category.  Somehow, even though the so called gurus will refuse to admit it, we all have had our unclear dream day, when we knew that something was wrong with the picture we had painted but just could not put a finger on it.

My antidote today is not as high tech as some of you may want, it may be too simple for others, but please try it and let me know who your dream has impacted, because I can guarantee that it most definitely will change something in the way that you dream.

1. Talk More About Where You Want To Go – I find that there is nothing that brings clarity like talking to someone about where you want to go. Now you will think I am talking about sharing your dream with someone else who is already living their dreams, but this is not necessarily the case.  Believe me, there is so much in everyone that you meet- even when they are not doing something with it- that you can tap from.  Sometimes, when I am not sure what to do I speak with my children.  Sometimes with very educated people, sometimes with even market women.  There is always something that they are able to point out that may or may not have a direct bearing on what I am doing, but brings to the  fore something that has been hidden in the shadows but will help me get where I need to go! 
2. Be Objective - One on the hardest things for me to do, is hear people tear my ideas to shreds or make negative points about what I want to do. In the past, the fear of hearing others say negative things about what I am sharing made me always clam up and not share.  But as I have grown in what I do, I find it actually refreshing to hear the ideas that others have to proffer.  I am open minded and objective enough now to recognise that what they have to offer may be the key and solution that I seek, so I am open minded.

The idea is that in the end they may contribute something very meaningful, other times their contributions may be queries that you have been afraid to look into, and at other times just talking with them brings clarity to the dark parts of your dream.  Irrespective of how talking to others may impact, remember that in the end the decision to take action still is yours.

Today, yes I know that talk is cheap, but when it comes to living your dream, talk is actually clarity.  Because the more people you will speak to, the more clearly you will see where you need to go and what needs to be done.  Two heads, any day, are still better than one. Talk more about your dream, and you will be amazed how much clarity you can get.

Till next week remember, that no matter where you are, if you persist you will make it NeverTheLess.

Hugs

Sistar B

WAITING TO EXHALE

I am sure you know that movie. I have personally seen it a great number of times than I dare to admit.  Sometimes I seem to get the story, other times, it seems like I have no clue what it is about.  What I can remember though is that each of the women portrayed in the movie had dreams in their hearts and they were all waiting to be able to say that the dream had come to pass.

For one, it was holding on to her past while not appreciating the present nor being able to acknowledge that the past was just that; past.  For the other, it was a bold step to move on, with all the fear that comes with wanting to move on and combined with the reality that it is not that easy.  She had to cope with the anger and the shame and ridicule that come with a dream falling apart, and also the uncertainty of stepping on to live another dream.

What about the one who was busy chasing the dream which had nothing to do with her? She knew what she was holding on to wasn’t the dream, she was just too afraid to release it, just incase…  Then there is the one who even though had a life others envied could not appreciate her dream life for what it is, but kept under valuing her true worth.

Thinking about this movie today as I wait for my dream to reach the place where all just comes together and I don’t have to worry about a thing any more, I realise that the dream life, is not a destination.  It is a process and no matter what stage we are in, we need to find a way to enjoy where we are.  Life may be easier if it all fell into place right now, but that doesn’t mean that it will be more meaningful.

I am remembered of another classic “Waiting For Godot” by Samuel Beckett, where the characters wait and wait and wait in vain for someone who had already come and gone without them noticing he had.

My point today is that the highpoints of our dreams should not be when we feel right or think everything is going well.  The high point should be that today we have another opportunity and rather than waiting for it to come together, before we celebrate, maybe with every baby step we make, we should stop and celebrate the fact that we moved beyond where we were previously.

Today, I got to the office waiting to exhale then I remembered that I may have to wait for godot and not know when he comes around, so I renewed my mind and decided to enjoy the journey even when I have to climb the mountains too. 

Living your dream or living a purposeful life is not devoid of challenges, but it is also such a long trip that holding our breath for when it is okay to exhale can do more harm than good.

So my counsel to all the Dream Chasers out there? Let down your hair, even if nothing positive happened today by your estimation, at least you are in the place of your dream and that alone is worth exhaling for! So step away from your desk or the things that annoy, take a deep breath and just exhale.  How did that feel? Now back to work.  You will make it NeverTheLess. I promise, we will make it.

Hugs

Sistar B

BLACK NOT BLEAK

Today is a really, really sad day in Nigeria.  The nation has been plagued by untold tragedies since Friday last week. Only God knows what the death toll will end up as, and so I am wondering “what is the point?”  I am not personally affected, but I do know that my husband travels a lot; I have friends and family who get to travel around quite a lot because of work, and this could so easily have been anyone of us.

Most of the people on the Dana Air flight that crashed were living their dream. Some had dream jobs, some had dream businesses, and some were on their way back to their dream families from dream events.  Children with dreams nestled in their hearts were on their way from school for their midterm break. Maybe one of, upon stepping on the plane that fateful afternoon, wondered aloud when he or she will be old enough to fly a plane.  A couple was on their way back from watching one of their own start off a dream life… they left the happy wedding of their niece and didn’t make it home.  They all had dreams.  My heart goes out to their families and friends, may God grant you the grace to rise from these ashes in Jesus name.

Some of these dreams were already being lived; some were still in the early stages of budding, but dreams they were nevertheless.  And that is why I am the first to ask this morning, maybe because I am very sad, that is all the sacrifice made in pursuing a dream really worth it in the end?  What is this life if today we can be here and the next just snuffed out without any notice? 

I ask because someone dear to me, for whom the Aviation industry has always been a dream, called me yesterday saying she was not sure she wants to go to work today, and I could hear the shock and the fear in her voice. 

To answer my own question, yes, it is worth it!  We all are talking about Dr. Levi Ajuonuma, and at least we can attest to some extent that he made his mark.  From his days on National Television, we can tell that he enjoyed what he was doing, which he died doing. So as sad as it is, we know that he lived his life doing what he loved to do!

As fearful and as stressed as we are right now, we can from this ashes and despair pull out hope for ourselves.  Remember that the days we have on earth are not in anyway guaranteed and that the call home can happen anytime. If and when it is our turn, as much as we don’t want it to be, yet as inevitable as it is; what will we do when we stand before the one who made us?

Will you say you left any imprints upon the sands of time?  Will your life have impacted and contributed anything at all?  Living a dream is never about the dreamer alone.  Yes, there is fulfillment in it for me, but more than that is the fact that we will give an account to the one who has put us here on earth and even the world must know that we came this way.

That is why my submission today, is that yes it is really black out there, we are struggling to see where we are going, pain and fear seek to cripple us, but we must not let them!  One of my brothers is on a plane to Abuja for work this morning, and it is not that there is no fear; but despite the fear we must continue to pursue our dreams.

Rather than let grief cripple me, I choose to get back on the saddle and say, yes, it may be risky out there, but that is the essence of living.  May our dreams not die without being lived by and through us in Jesus name.

I know it is hard right now, but I also know that after this dark night, we will see the light shining through.  We will make it, whether in the flesh or otherwise, we will make it NeverTheLess.

Hugs, Hugs, Hugs

Sistar B

As an aside, please can we learn to be a lot more sensitive on Social Media?  The way some of us handled and are still handling these tragedies is less than desirable to say the least.  Always remember that at the receiving end is another human being like you with sensibilities and emotions.  We are all hurting; the people, government and the Airline, please let us be sensitive the way we circulate information, especially when we have no way of confirming their authenticity.

God bless you!